Jealousy In Relationships
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Society > Relationships
Mar 1, 2007
cdmohatta
Jealousy In Relationships
This is a common theme that is discussed by those who are in love, or by their friends. Why does one feel jealous? Is the relationship weak? If the relationship is strong, should one feel jealous at all? Or it is one's genes? I mean, if I am very sure that I love a girl and I am totally committed to her, and I believe that she is equally in love with me, why should I feel jealous? Or why should she feel jealous? But jealousy is a fact of life. Let us examine more of jealousy.
Let us take a simple example. Say, your child loves one of your neighbors and she is equally attentive to him/her. Would you feel jealous of that or proud about that? Would you try to take away your child from the neighbor? Would you confront the neighbor? You may do nothing like this, if I am not wrong in my analysis. But what if your child is replaced by your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend? Your reaction may be entirely different. If yes, why? What is the difference in both the situations?
The main difference is faith. You have total faith that your child may run around and play with many people around the day. But he/she will return to you at night, or if hungry, or if injured? Am I correct? You don?t have the same faith with your lover/spouse. And that is the main cause of jealousy. Somewhere in your mind, you are always wondering about your looks, your intelligence, your relationship skills and all other factors that may break your relationship and make your spouse/lover go into another relationship.
Can any relationship that is based on such slippery thoughts be a happy relationship? Can it survive long without problems? No. The best way out is to discuss without hesitation everything in your mind with your spouse/lover and expose all your fears. Be totally open. Try to find out all that is in the mind of your partner in the same way. Discuss everything and decide that come what may, your relationship is here to stay. Give that commitment and take that commitment in return. And enjoy life forever without bothering about jealousy. If after all the discussion, both of you come to a conclusion that the commitment is not strong for each other, make a clean break. We cannot sail in a boat in the deep seas, and try to enjoy sailing, while constantly getting worried about the sea worthiness of the boat. Am I correct? We should begin sailing only after making sure about the boat first. Jealousy mainly comes in our mind because we are not sure of the love and commitment. Take care of that to live a happy life.
Let us take a simple example. Say, your child loves one of your neighbors and she is equally attentive to him/her. Would you feel jealous of that or proud about that? Would you try to take away your child from the neighbor? Would you confront the neighbor? You may do nothing like this, if I am not wrong in my analysis. But what if your child is replaced by your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend? Your reaction may be entirely different. If yes, why? What is the difference in both the situations?
The main difference is faith. You have total faith that your child may run around and play with many people around the day. But he/she will return to you at night, or if hungry, or if injured? Am I correct? You don?t have the same faith with your lover/spouse. And that is the main cause of jealousy. Somewhere in your mind, you are always wondering about your looks, your intelligence, your relationship skills and all other factors that may break your relationship and make your spouse/lover go into another relationship.
Can any relationship that is based on such slippery thoughts be a happy relationship? Can it survive long without problems? No. The best way out is to discuss without hesitation everything in your mind with your spouse/lover and expose all your fears. Be totally open. Try to find out all that is in the mind of your partner in the same way. Discuss everything and decide that come what may, your relationship is here to stay. Give that commitment and take that commitment in return. And enjoy life forever without bothering about jealousy. If after all the discussion, both of you come to a conclusion that the commitment is not strong for each other, make a clean break. We cannot sail in a boat in the deep seas, and try to enjoy sailing, while constantly getting worried about the sea worthiness of the boat. Am I correct? We should begin sailing only after making sure about the boat first. Jealousy mainly comes in our mind because we are not sure of the love and commitment. Take care of that to live a happy life.
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