Types of Self-Defeating Communication
7660
Communications
Mar 1, 2007
Patrick K. Porter, Ph.D.
Types of Self-Defeating Communication
If there was a law against people verbally abusing themselves, it would be a safe bet that most Americans would now be in jail. The things we say to ourselves both silently and out loud are amazing! And we say these things to ourselves almost constantly. For example, how many times have you found yourself making derogatory remarks about how you reacted to a situation you have just experienced? We tend to judge and invalidate our actions when they are out of sync with our beliefs about what is right and wrong or good and bad.
If you are like the average person in our society, I suspect that you make such self-deprecating statements all too frequently. Likewise, I strongly suspect that the frequency with which you verbally abuse yourself about goals detracts significantly from your results.
I have good reason for both suspicions. First, it is common knowledge that people talk to themselves when involved with certain tasks. Salespeople talk to themselves before meeting a client, lawyers talk to themselves about judges and jurors and musicians talk to themselves about the requirements of a piece they will play. Butcher, baker, or candlestick maker ? it makes no difference. All people talk to themselves.
There are two types of self-defeating statements that people are prone to make. First, there are negative self-statements; that is, statements that deprecate your own self-worth and abilities. Second, there are self-pressure statements; that is, statements that bring greater pressure on you than the situation demands.
When you make either self-pressuring statements or negative self-statements, several things can happen, most of which are bad. Negative self-statements frequently become what we call self-fulfilling prophecies. This simply means that because we expect negative reactions from ourselves, based on the negative things we?ve said about ourselves, we are likely to behave accordingly. This is because we begin to think obsessively about how bad we are rather than think about what we need to do in order to properly execute.
Fortunately, simply by being aware of these types of self-defeating statements, you can work to develop a positive approach to your self-talk, and overcome this negative cycle.
If you are like the average person in our society, I suspect that you make such self-deprecating statements all too frequently. Likewise, I strongly suspect that the frequency with which you verbally abuse yourself about goals detracts significantly from your results.
I have good reason for both suspicions. First, it is common knowledge that people talk to themselves when involved with certain tasks. Salespeople talk to themselves before meeting a client, lawyers talk to themselves about judges and jurors and musicians talk to themselves about the requirements of a piece they will play. Butcher, baker, or candlestick maker ? it makes no difference. All people talk to themselves.
There are two types of self-defeating statements that people are prone to make. First, there are negative self-statements; that is, statements that deprecate your own self-worth and abilities. Second, there are self-pressure statements; that is, statements that bring greater pressure on you than the situation demands.
When you make either self-pressuring statements or negative self-statements, several things can happen, most of which are bad. Negative self-statements frequently become what we call self-fulfilling prophecies. This simply means that because we expect negative reactions from ourselves, based on the negative things we?ve said about ourselves, we are likely to behave accordingly. This is because we begin to think obsessively about how bad we are rather than think about what we need to do in order to properly execute.
Fortunately, simply by being aware of these types of self-defeating statements, you can work to develop a positive approach to your self-talk, and overcome this negative cycle.
Article Source: http://www.articlerich.com
Dr. Patrick Porter is an entrepreneur, award-winning author, and motivational speaker. His electrifying keynote speeches and seminars deliver the real life, nuts ?n bolts concepts he used to take his business venture to astounding heights. www.patrickkporter.com
Write a Review
Add to My Favorite
Refer it to Friend
Report Article
Other links owned by this user
Studies in persuasion technology show that what you expect tends to be realized. I call this the Law of Expectation, which is also one of the tenants of sales. As a sales professional, your expectations influence reality. I recently came
Category:
If there was a law against people verbally abusing themselves, it would be a safe bet that most Americans would now be in jail. The things we say to ourselves both silently and out loud are amazing! And we say these things to ourselves almost
Category:
Other links at Communications
You can improve communication skills with the man or woman in your life, once you understand the differences in how the genders communicate. 1. Men and women talk in different places. If you want to improve your communication
Category:
The earliest lock in existence is an Egyptian lock made of wood, found with its key in the ruins of Nineveh, in accent Assyria. In construction it is the prototype of the modern cylinder lock. There is mention of locks of simple design used by the
Category:
One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible."-Henry Brooks Adams. True friends are rare. It has been said that friendship doubles our joys and halves our sorrows. Some may feel that friends are not
Category:
The pen is mightier than the sword, says an adage. But most people do not know that when written become spoken , they explode like firecrackers! If books speak volumes, speeches fire up entire lives. There are three kinds of
Category:
If you feel like you don?t know how to talk to people of the opposite sex, you might be onto something! Men and women definitely have different ways of nicating. Learning how the other half uses language will help to improve your
Category:
Site Sponsor
Directory Statistics
Articles: 68205
Categories: 501
Yahoo Entertainment
