Divorced Dads Tips: How To Become an Educated Divorced Dad
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Society > Divorce
Mar 1, 2008
doppler
Divorced Dads Tips: How To Become an Educated Divorced Dad
I am going to tell you a little bit about how we are helping people all across the country and various parts of the world. It really came about as a result of our desire to expand the services that we have in Southern Ontario provinces in North America. That is true. We have gotten calls from all over the United States and calls from Europe. We actually have had a few calls from China and Korea and all over Australia and New Zealand. So, it is not just a matter of getting emails from those areas, but we are realizing that there is such a tremendous need. I think one of the other factors that is very important is all of you gentlemen out there, all of you fathers, need to understand that isolation is not going to help you. Divorced dads need to get in touch with each other, find a way to communicate with each other and help each other through some difficult days that you might be up against. Such as the ignorance and prejudice of people who don't want fathers to have help. Sometimes they act like gatekeepers, censoring information inappropriately. That's really a sad thing for society and kids in particular from divorced families. We will never have world peace if we can't have peace in our families. Here's the underlying truth: We can't expect a peaceful world when the exchange of desperately needed information is blocked, that's just another form of warfare; We can't expect a peaceful world when those who advocate for the rights of women, do so in a way that is hateful and disrespectful of the human dignity of men, by denying children the right to have a meaningful relationship with their fathers. As a long as we expect men to be to just walk away from their families, but pay child support driven by gender politics, instead of actual financial realities brought about by separation and divorce we have a society at war with itself, with children caught in the middle. And the lawyers as the big winners while they strip families of their assets. Christmas and Holidays are a particularly difficult time for dads, especially if you are not seeing your children. Because you are likely feeling this sort of prejudice, but with no one giving you the support you need as your heart aches for your children. You are going to need to know that the support is there for you and that is what part of this call is about, but also to encourage each of you to try and stay in touch with whoever is on the call. We will be adding more and more communication tools as we move on with this new initiative so that some of you will be able to communicate with each other. Our hope is to be your guides and to be your coaches and to encourage you as you make progress towards your goals as a separated and divorced dad to get involved in what is wrong with our world today for our kids and that is primarily what is going on in family court and be in action that it is happening at a political level also. First of all, you got to heal your heart, you got to heal your children's heart in order to be effective as a parent for them, and this is a very horrific situation that a lot of you are going through, but once you have got that managed, and you will never get it fully resolved, but you can get it managed. Once you get into that point, then you need to get involved politically. I will tell you a little story here. Recently, we had our usual regular weekly meeting in Toronto that goes for two hours. On my way from the office to the meeting hall, which is a short block, about five blocks, I ran into a father and his new partner and after a 14-month struggle, he was walking down major streets in Toronto with his son on his shoulders. Everybody was giggling, laughing, and having a great old time. It was one of the first nights he had had complete freedom to have his son in close to 14 months. This is a father that struggled against all odds. He had been charged criminally. He was being told by the family court he could not see his son. Ultimately, because he persevered, went in there, learned the system, learned the ropes, and applied the strategies and tactics that we taught him, he was able to win in criminal court and to prove that the mother had lied and ultimately he is well on his way to getting towards a situation where he will ultimately get a call if he keeps going. The thing that he has known in his heart from the beginning, and this has been hard for him I can tell you because I have watched it go on for 14 months, is that you must persevere, you must endure no matter who tells how terrible you are or what a rotten person you are, you have got to keep your world view very, very solid against all encounters. The court system and the legal system is a very adversarial, confrontational arena. I used the term arena specifically because it sort of takes you back to the Roman times when they used to throw people in with the lions and it probably feels that way for guys. I want to just give you hope and encourage you to not give up. That's why we have these free teleseminars, write and distribute articles, podcasts, videos. To get the word out that you are not alone. The Internet allows us to do things that only a few years ago would have cost millions of dollars to do. So take advantage of that. Participate in the teleseminars - We are going to be giving you the strategies that helped that dad. He went through some really down times. We will be sharing the strategies we gave him to succeed so that you can turn your situation around. What I really live for are moments when we actually help dads just like you to remain involved with their kids. For example, while I was talking on the street with this divorced dad, his girlfriend collapsed into my arms, telling me that she had been totally, totally lost prior to coming to our meetings and if it has not been for all the love and help and support that she had gotten at these meetings and this father got that they just would not have known what else to do because there is nothing out there ultimately for fathers. Were trying to replicate that in the teleseminars, the articles and the podcasts. There are no services out there for men. So, it is a big part of why these calls are taking place. The thing that really gives me juice is when his 5 year old son gave me a big hug and a high five. Those are the moments that I live for is when we help a dad get the help he needs to continue being a GREAT dad. That is what it is all about.
Danny Guspie - Executive Director of Fathers Resources International can help you learn the successful strategies of fathers who have won in Family Court. Join us on our weekly calls at DivorcedDadWeekly.com where we will share with you what works for successful divorced dads.
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