Is Dieting A Weighty Problem?
51098
Recreation & Sports > Humor
Oct 31, 2007
kphirst
Is Dieting A Weighty Problem?
Jenny Craig, NutriSystem and Weight Watchers are all established names in the diet business, but Jenny Craig took a risk. She put her name on her program. Now she has to put all her weight behind her program and none on her hips. Programs, packaged food, pills - because we do it over and over again, you'd think dieting would get easier. Eat less and exercise more. It sounds easy. Of course, rubbing your belly while tapping your head sounds easy until you try it. If you're trying to lose a few pounds, you're not alone. Everyone has advice how to do it because everyone has tried, is trying or will try to do it. Come to think of it, I wouldn't vote for a politician who wasn't concerned about dieting. Not being concerned about dieting is un-American. Unfortunately, dieting doesn't work for everyone, which is why some people have fat removed surgically. The good news is liposuction works. Although the bad news is that fat comes back, there's worse news. The money spent on removing fat doesn't come back. The worst news, however, is that rats on calorie-restricted diets live longer than average rats. I'm hoping there's no direct correlation with humans. Personally, I don't think humans would live longer on a calorie- restricted diet. It would just seem longer. Although I'm not sure dieting and liposuction can solve all the extra pounds of problems we Americans have, I don't think I'd have extra problems if I could find enough time in my day to get everything done. Appointments, meetings, errands - be at home when the plumber is meant to come, but be at school in time to help with the bake sale - I think my extra weight is on my shoulders. Because my grandmother had broad shoulders, she thought people suffered from heavy hearts. She thought people should let go of all the troubles that they couldn't fix. Considering I was in trouble more often than I was in the cookie jar, I'm thankful she didn't let go of me - but I digress. Because of my grandmother, I don't believe in carrying around excess baggage - in my heart or on vacations. After a recent vacation in Ireland, I brought home more memories than souvenirs. When the customs agent raised his eyebrows and asked if I had anything else to declare, I confessed. I declared the three pounds I'd gained.
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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