Rush Limbaugh Humor: 2 Adult Beverage Recipes Any Dittohead Will Love
4977
Food & Beverage > Recipes
Mar 1, 2007
Britt Gillette
Rush Limbaugh Humor: 2 Adult Beverage Recipes Any Dittohead Will Love
During the course of his celebrated career, Rush Limbaugh invented the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks so as not to offend mothers with young children listening to the show. But no insight was given on where to find the best dittohead adult beverages. That's why I created The Dittohead's Guide to Adult Beverages, a political humor book fans of the show will love.
Just try out these great recipes:
ENVIRONMENTALIST WACKO WHISKEY
Glass: Your Own Cupped Hands
Ingredients:
1 Part Triple Sec (as long as it wasn?t made in a wicked corporate factory)
2 Parts Whiskey (homemade by Sierra Club members in an earth-friendly distillery)
1 Part Grain Alcohol (flammable liquid used by the Earth Liberation Front to burn SUVs)
1 Frozen Pond (the result of any number of man-made environmental catastrophes)
1 Dolphin (the pinnacle of creation, according to environmentalist wackos)
Instructions: First, cut several ice cubes from the surface of a frozen pond (these should be abundant due to the smog effect blocking the sun's rays in preparation for the coming ice age). Avoid using a freezer to produce your ice cubes, because freezers are a capitalist-concocted first cousin of man's worst enemy ? the air conditioner. Next, combine ingredients (along with your pond cubes) in your own cupped hands. Don't you dare use a glass instead of your hands, because the process of making glass destroys Mother Earth.
Origin: This adult beverage is named in honor of environmentalist wackos, a fringe movement (not to be confused with serious and responsible ecology-minded people) that believes mankind is the greatest threat to nature, seeks to destroy private property, and longs to establish a socialist regime to impose their nuttiness on the rest of us.
Special Note: For years environmentalist wackos have told us that dolphins are superior to humans ? despite the absence of dolphin highways, libraries, or institutions of higher learning. But for all their supposed brilliance, I challenge any environmentalist wacko to find a dolphin that can make an adult beverage as good as this one!
EL RUSHBO
Glass: A Highball Glass Emblazoned with the EIB Network Logo
Ingredients:
1 Part Rum (shares the first two letters of its name with Rush!)
2 Parts Blue Gatorade (consumed while playing a round of golf in honor of Rush)
2 Parts Sprite (in recognition of capitalist lemon-lime soda companies)
1 Prestigious Attila the Hun Chair (symbolic of complete radio industry dominance)
Talent on Loan From God (why liberals don?t stand a chance against El Rushbo)
Instructions: Utilizing talent on loan from God (assuming that, unlike most liberals, you acknowledge the existence of God), combine ingredients in a highball glass emblazoned with the EIB logo and top off with whipped cream (but please use the whipped cream in this adult beverage recipe the way Rush would use it and not in the manner in which Bill Clinton would use it). Enjoy from the comfortable confines of your own Attila the Hun chair, the undisputed seat of talk-radio industry power.
Origin: This dittohead adult beverage is affectionately named in honor of Rush Limbaugh ? lover of mankind, protector of motherhood, supporter of fatherhood (in most instances), general all-around good guy, and a man designated by the US Department of Education as a bona fide ?weapon of mass instruction.?
Special Note: This adult beverage is documented to almost always taste great, 96.712 percent of the time, just as El Rushbo is documented to be almost always right, 97.963 percent of the time!
Just try out these great recipes:
ENVIRONMENTALIST WACKO WHISKEY
Glass: Your Own Cupped Hands
Ingredients:
1 Part Triple Sec (as long as it wasn?t made in a wicked corporate factory)
2 Parts Whiskey (homemade by Sierra Club members in an earth-friendly distillery)
1 Part Grain Alcohol (flammable liquid used by the Earth Liberation Front to burn SUVs)
1 Frozen Pond (the result of any number of man-made environmental catastrophes)
1 Dolphin (the pinnacle of creation, according to environmentalist wackos)
Instructions: First, cut several ice cubes from the surface of a frozen pond (these should be abundant due to the smog effect blocking the sun's rays in preparation for the coming ice age). Avoid using a freezer to produce your ice cubes, because freezers are a capitalist-concocted first cousin of man's worst enemy ? the air conditioner. Next, combine ingredients (along with your pond cubes) in your own cupped hands. Don't you dare use a glass instead of your hands, because the process of making glass destroys Mother Earth.
Origin: This adult beverage is named in honor of environmentalist wackos, a fringe movement (not to be confused with serious and responsible ecology-minded people) that believes mankind is the greatest threat to nature, seeks to destroy private property, and longs to establish a socialist regime to impose their nuttiness on the rest of us.
Special Note: For years environmentalist wackos have told us that dolphins are superior to humans ? despite the absence of dolphin highways, libraries, or institutions of higher learning. But for all their supposed brilliance, I challenge any environmentalist wacko to find a dolphin that can make an adult beverage as good as this one!
EL RUSHBO
Glass: A Highball Glass Emblazoned with the EIB Network Logo
Ingredients:
1 Part Rum (shares the first two letters of its name with Rush!)
2 Parts Blue Gatorade (consumed while playing a round of golf in honor of Rush)
2 Parts Sprite (in recognition of capitalist lemon-lime soda companies)
1 Prestigious Attila the Hun Chair (symbolic of complete radio industry dominance)
Talent on Loan From God (why liberals don?t stand a chance against El Rushbo)
Instructions: Utilizing talent on loan from God (assuming that, unlike most liberals, you acknowledge the existence of God), combine ingredients in a highball glass emblazoned with the EIB logo and top off with whipped cream (but please use the whipped cream in this adult beverage recipe the way Rush would use it and not in the manner in which Bill Clinton would use it). Enjoy from the comfortable confines of your own Attila the Hun chair, the undisputed seat of talk-radio industry power.
Origin: This dittohead adult beverage is affectionately named in honor of Rush Limbaugh ? lover of mankind, protector of motherhood, supporter of fatherhood (in most instances), general all-around good guy, and a man designated by the US Department of Education as a bona fide ?weapon of mass instruction.?
Special Note: This adult beverage is documented to almost always taste great, 96.712 percent of the time, just as El Rushbo is documented to be almost always right, 97.963 percent of the time!
Article Source: http://www.articlerich.com
Britt Gillette is author of The Dittohead?s Guide to Adult Beverages (Regnery 2005), a political humor book for fans of Rush Limbaugh.
Write a Review
Add to My Favorite
Refer it to Friend
Report Article
Other links owned by this user
The quintessential Christmas classic, It's A Wonderful Life has dominated the holiday TV landscape with its timeless story of love, friendship, and a kind man?s exceedingly relevant life. Filmed in 1947, this Frank Capra masterpiece debuted in theaters
Category:
One of the least appreciated films of 2005 is Must Love Dogs, an upbeat romantic comedy about two recent divorcees. Directed and adapted to screen by Gary David Goldberg, veteran TV writer for such shows as MASH and Family Ties, the film offers a number
Category:
Nominated r 20 Emmys and 6 Golden Globes, including Best TV Series - Drama, CSI (Crime Scene Investigation) quickly rose to become the number one show on television llowing its Fall 2000 premiere. The brainchild of creator Anthony Zuiker, the show
Category:
Winner of two Academy Awards for Best Music, both Original Score and Original Song, The Lion King would have won Best Picture had it not been an animated film. Arguably the greatest full-length animated Disney feature of all time, The Lion King is a
Category:
First airing in November 2001, 24 quickly established itself as one of the best television series around and solidified itself as a cult classic icon. Utilizing a novel premise, ch sson of 24 comprises a single day in lives of its characters, with
Category:
Premiering in the late summer of 1997, South Park took American pop culture by storm with its no-holds-barred examination of social and political issues and its lewd yet unique brand of cartoon humor. Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park is
Category:
Based on the bestselling novel by Candace Bushnell, the HBO original series Sex And The City took the television world by storm following its release in the summer of 1998. Following the exploits of four young and educated female friends living and
Category:
Nominated for four Academy Awards, and winner of Best Animated Feature Film of the Year, The Incredibles is one of the best animated films ever produced. A cross between Toy Story, Superman, and Office Space, it provides an endless array of action
Category:
I the Flintstones are the modern stone-age amily, then the Jetsons are the quintessential post-modern uturistic amily, complete with lying cars. Following the massive commercial success o the animated classic The Flintstones (1960), Hanna-Barbera
Category:
Based on a Richard Hooker novel of the same name, MASH was released in 1970 as a full-length feature film by 20th Century Fox before experiencing widespread success as a groundbreaking television sitcom in the Fall of 1972. The show's brilliant
Category:
One of the many hit TV shows inextricably linked to the 1980's is The A-Team, an action series with plenty of bombs, machine guns, and bazookas - where miraculously no one ever seems to die! Short for "Alpha Team," The A-Team is a Vietnam-era crack
Category:
Nominted for 6 Emmys nd 3 Hugo Awrds in its five-seson run, Bbylon 5 chnged the lndscpe of the TV science fiction series genre. Following on the heels of hit series such s Str Trek nd Str Trek: The Next Genertion, Bbylon 5 is unrivled by
Category:
First telecast in the Fall of 1996, Everybody Loves Raymond became an instant favorite among TV audiences, a love affair that would last for nine memorable seasons. Following on the heels of a series of successful sitcoms starring stand-up comics -
Category:
Premiering in September 2001, Alias has built a steady and loyal following among television viewers. The show combines the fast pace action sequences of 24 wh the conspiracy theory backdrop of the X-Files. It also doesn't hurt that the show centers
Category:
Nominated for 13 Emmys and 8 Golden Globes, The Jeffersons was a groundbreaking situation comedy that was not only utterly hilarious, but also explored the controversial social issues of its day. Premiering in mid-season 1975, the show was a spin-off of
Category:
Nominated for 12 Teen Choice Awards in its five-year (six season) run, including Best Drama Series, Dawson's Creek quickly built an extensive cult following. A surprise smash hit for the enterprising WB network, the show initiated a successful string
Category:
During the course of his celebrated career, Rush Limbaugh invented the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks so as not to offend mothers with young children listening to the show. But no insight was given on where to find the best
Category:
Nominated for 17 Emmys, including one Golden Globe for Best TV Series - Drama, Little House On The Prairie is one of the most popular shows in television history. Based on the autobiographical series of "Little House" books written by Laura Ingalls
Category:
Hands down, Naional Lampoon's Chrismas Vacaion is he bes Chrismas-hemed comedy ever filmed. Personally, I make i habi o wach his movie abou en million imes beween Thanksgiving and Chrismas Eve. Even afer seeing he film so many imes
Category:
Skin cancer prevention measures can actively reduce your chances of developing skin cancer if you implement them in your daily routine. The most common form of cancer in the United States, tens of thousands of Americans contract skin cancer every
Category:
Other links at Food & Beverage > Recipes
Many people can't say no to a sweet treat, but others feel the need to refuse desserts that they consider to be high in calories and sugar. This makes it hard to find a dessert recipe that pleases everyone.
Category:
The famous hummingbird cake, a delightful concoction of mashed banana, pineapple, pecans, and cream cheese icing, is a very popular and satisfying dessert. It is easy to prepare and a guaranteed crowd pleaser.
Category:
What sounds more cozy and satisfying on a chilly day, or when the sun fades and it finally cools down in the evening, than a comforting bowl of flavorful soup? In addition to the warmth and comfort soup can offer, it?s also a ?secret weapon? for both
Category:
Almost every family has a treasured recipe, handed down through generations, that is not only beloved because it's delicious, but because it evokes memories of favorite family get-togethers.
Category:
5. Fondue
Fondue refers to several French Swiss communal dishes shared at the table in an earthenware pot ("caquelon") over a small burner ("r?chaud"). The term "fondue" comes from the French "fondre" ("to melt"), referring to the fact that the contents
Category:
Site Sponsor
Directory Statistics
Articles: 68228
Categories: 501
Yahoo Entertainment
