Speed Dating: Men, your time starts now!
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Society > Dating
Jul 23, 2007
Justin Parfitt
Speed Dating: Men, your time starts now!
When I describe the speed dating concept people almost always assume that men are lining up in droves to participate. It’s a no-brainer: what single guy wouldn’t want to put their best foot forward with ten single girls in one night? They don’t have to pluck up the courage to approach them, they know they’re single and looking, they know there’s no boyfriend to worry about, they don’t have to shell out for drinks and there’s no rejection – you only find out if someone is interested in you if you express an interest in them! It seems like the perfect way to meet people. Forget all those nights heading to bars and clubs, spending a fortune on drinks and cover charges - Cut to the chase!
Some people claim that 8 minutes isn’t enough time to really get to know anyone. And of course they’re right. It can take years to really know someone and understand what makes them tick. However, we all know that it only takes a few seconds to know whether you find someone physically attractive, and only a few minutes more to know whether you’d like to see that person again. So in 8 minutes you can work out if you’re physically attracted to a girl. It’s enough time to find out whether the conversation flows or if things are bit strained. It’s enough time to find out if you share similar interests or a sense of humour. What more do you need for a follow on date? And does anyone seriously believe that you get to know someone better through a brief encounter at a bar?
Men and women are different. Women are anecdotally described as the better of the two sexes at communicating. It is said that women like talking more than men, that they prefer to discuss affairs of the heart, relationships and so on. Men are supposedly left brained creatures uninterested in discussing their feelings, preferring to exchange light hearted banter or rave about their car or favourite sports team. All of this may or may not be true.
Yet seen through the prism of speed dating events differences between the sexes that can seem somewhat intangible are thrown into sharp relief. One of the main differences between the sexes that has become apparent through my line of work is that social concepts, such as speed dating, spread among women like wildfire whereas men are reluctant to discuss their dating experiences. Women love reading about these things in magazines and tend to discuss their dating experiences with their friends at length and in minute detail. Men, if they talk about dating at all, often dwell on their prowess as a lover and wrap any description of their dating activities in layers of machismo. Women see speed dating for what it is, a great new way to meet people, men see their attendance at a speed dating event as some kind of admission that they need help to find a mate. In fact, a male journalist that attended a Fast Impressions speed dating event wrote that although he enjoyed the experience he “preferred hunting in the wild rather than shooting fish in a barrel”. No doubt female readers will be rolling their eyes!
Women pass on stories of their speed dating experiences to their female friends who then go on to attend events. By and large men keep their experience to themselves. The net effect of all of this is that more women register for speed dating events than men.
This could potentially pose problems as one of the central premises of speed dating is that there are an equal number of men and women at each event. Fortunately the men that do come love the concept and return time and time again (it’s a no-brainer right?).
Over the last year or so I have noticed a significant increase in the number of men registering for speed dating events. Whereas previously there would be 3 women registering for every 2 men, now the numbers are much more even. Having noticed this trend I’ve asked hundreds of our male members how they heard about speed dating and what compelled them to attend an event. It turns out that men, once in a relationship, lose the need to brag and boast about their conquests and are able to talk openly about their dating experiences (well, maybe only as far as they relate to their current partner!). Men that met their partner at a speed dating event seem to evangelize about the concept to their friends.
Speed dating has now been around for 9 years, it was invented by a Los Angeles rabbi in 1998, and millions of people around the world have now attended at least one event. It is certainly true that many thousands of marriages and long term relationships started at a FastLife speed dating event, and all the men in those relationships now talk freely with their friends about how they met their partner. As a result we are seeing unprecedented numbers of men registering, and there’s absolutely no sign that the women are losing interest either!
Justin Parfitt is the CEO and Founder of International Singles Events Group FastLife International. FastLife hosts about 150 speed dating and singles events each month in 43 cities in 5 countries.
send email to Justin Parfitt
Some people claim that 8 minutes isn’t enough time to really get to know anyone. And of course they’re right. It can take years to really know someone and understand what makes them tick. However, we all know that it only takes a few seconds to know whether you find someone physically attractive, and only a few minutes more to know whether you’d like to see that person again. So in 8 minutes you can work out if you’re physically attracted to a girl. It’s enough time to find out whether the conversation flows or if things are bit strained. It’s enough time to find out if you share similar interests or a sense of humour. What more do you need for a follow on date? And does anyone seriously believe that you get to know someone better through a brief encounter at a bar?
Men and women are different. Women are anecdotally described as the better of the two sexes at communicating. It is said that women like talking more than men, that they prefer to discuss affairs of the heart, relationships and so on. Men are supposedly left brained creatures uninterested in discussing their feelings, preferring to exchange light hearted banter or rave about their car or favourite sports team. All of this may or may not be true.
Yet seen through the prism of speed dating events differences between the sexes that can seem somewhat intangible are thrown into sharp relief. One of the main differences between the sexes that has become apparent through my line of work is that social concepts, such as speed dating, spread among women like wildfire whereas men are reluctant to discuss their dating experiences. Women love reading about these things in magazines and tend to discuss their dating experiences with their friends at length and in minute detail. Men, if they talk about dating at all, often dwell on their prowess as a lover and wrap any description of their dating activities in layers of machismo. Women see speed dating for what it is, a great new way to meet people, men see their attendance at a speed dating event as some kind of admission that they need help to find a mate. In fact, a male journalist that attended a Fast Impressions speed dating event wrote that although he enjoyed the experience he “preferred hunting in the wild rather than shooting fish in a barrel”. No doubt female readers will be rolling their eyes!
Women pass on stories of their speed dating experiences to their female friends who then go on to attend events. By and large men keep their experience to themselves. The net effect of all of this is that more women register for speed dating events than men.
This could potentially pose problems as one of the central premises of speed dating is that there are an equal number of men and women at each event. Fortunately the men that do come love the concept and return time and time again (it’s a no-brainer right?).
Over the last year or so I have noticed a significant increase in the number of men registering for speed dating events. Whereas previously there would be 3 women registering for every 2 men, now the numbers are much more even. Having noticed this trend I’ve asked hundreds of our male members how they heard about speed dating and what compelled them to attend an event. It turns out that men, once in a relationship, lose the need to brag and boast about their conquests and are able to talk openly about their dating experiences (well, maybe only as far as they relate to their current partner!). Men that met their partner at a speed dating event seem to evangelize about the concept to their friends.
Speed dating has now been around for 9 years, it was invented by a Los Angeles rabbi in 1998, and millions of people around the world have now attended at least one event. It is certainly true that many thousands of marriages and long term relationships started at a FastLife speed dating event, and all the men in those relationships now talk freely with their friends about how they met their partner. As a result we are seeing unprecedented numbers of men registering, and there’s absolutely no sign that the women are losing interest either!
Justin Parfitt is the CEO and Founder of International Singles Events Group FastLife International. FastLife hosts about 150 speed dating and singles events each month in 43 cities in 5 countries.
send email to Justin Parfitt
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