Two Deaths on the Same Afternoon
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Society > Death
Aug 30, 2007
jackdeal
Two Deaths on the Same Afternoon
I guess it's not unusual for two people you know to die at the same time. It happens and it happened to me the other day... The first was Dr. J. I knew him when I worked in the local hospital as a Grief Counselor and Pastoral Care Coordinator. I worked critical care and the emergency room. Dr. J was arrogant, wealthy and somehow oblivious to all the death he dealt with every day. Not that he wasn't a good doctor; I suppose in terms of skills he was as good as the next one in line. But like many so-called caring professionals he was driven by one bottom line...his. He drove a fancy Euro sedan and always wore lots of gold jewelry. He seemed to be one of those that if he has it, he has to flaunt it. To him, everyone that wasn't a doctor was simply in the wrong caste and wrong social level. Simple employees were definitely not worth much on his social status scale. When I quit the hospital I opened up a used car lot and became a used car dealer. I also ran an auto repair shop and got to know the Mrs. Dr. J. She was a whiny, neurotic bundle of nerves that always was in a dither about something on her car or in her personal life. She would complain that the good Dr. J was not giving her enough allowance and it was through this happy couple that I first began to see the California 'non-divorced though divorced' status: couples living together that can't stand each other. But hey, one has to have their priorities straight, no? After all, it's all about the money, honey. California is a common property state and by law assets are split down the middle in a divorce case. Over the years I saw many male business men that were set back 10-15 years in their businesses by a divorce. The smarter ones simply did not divorce and that was the route the good Dr. J chose. He told his 'ex' that he was not going to divorce her but would give her a monthly allowance instead. I forget what that amount was but it was a nice pension for having lived with the presumptuous Dr. J for some 20 years. Of course it wasn't nearly enough to cover what she felt were her necessities let alone what she 'deserved'. She was always stressing over her 'baby' car and bringing it in for rattles and other imagined problems. I suppose she must have been very foxy when younger but at this point in her life she was simply dull and dingy. We always charged her to look especially since I had to spend a lot of time on her explaining why many of her car problems were imagined. I expect that in her distorted world there were many other things that were imagined as well...perhaps even her marriage to Dr. J was imagined. So the good Dr. J died and went to wherever and I just hope he managed to salvage a few assets and status perks that he could take with him...and I wonder if she went to the funeral. I sure didn't. I sometimes would wonder how great it would be if wherever they went they in the afterlife they went together. The other death was Sarah Teal. Oddly enough I met her ex before her but like so many people I have come across I got to know her pretty well by connecting the dots and pieces of her psyche over an extended period of time. Connecting dots is a not a too hidden secret for understanding human psychology and honing people skills. Sarah was so sweet...always had a smile and a good word for others even if her day and life were going sideways and she seemed to have more than her share of sideways days. I sold her two cars, the second a low mileage Euro sedan I bought at Golden Gate car auction that she just loved. The car was from Alaska and had one of those electric plugs sticking out of the grill to preheat the engine on subzero mornings. She probably drove that car a good ten years and I would see it and her all over town with the electric plug sticking out of her grill. She even got me to help her out feeding the homeless at the local center. Unlike Dr. J, she truly felt all people were the same and there was no such thing as castes or social strata. She recovered from her lousy marriage and managed to bring up her two kids by herself with dad taking them an afternoon a month. Some dads are such duds and she sure married one. I have come to since realize that who one marries is absolutely critical as it can take decades to recover from a bad marriage especially if children are involved. Sarah had even dated some of my old friends trying to find a Mr. Right if there is such a thing. I remember she went out with one of my oddball friends she met at one of our famous Solstice parties. She said he grabbed her on the first date and she whacked him. Needless to say they only went out once and I always felt badly that they met at our party. I last saw her less than a year ago in the parking lot at the mall. She had remarried and moved to Carmel and her new Mr. Right seemed like a really nice guy...something she really deserved and I was so happy for her. She showed me her newly constructed teeth and was so happy about them and her willpower to stop smoking cigarettes to keep those teeth sparkling white. I guess her teeth stayed white but years of chain smoking had damaged her lungs and she died of lung cancer. I couldn't remember the exact ages of her kids but both were adults at least so they could fend for themselves...who knows what happened to dad. Such is life and such is death. In the end I suppose we all get what we deserve...I just hope my friend Sarah Teal got what she deserved and that jerk Dr. J what he deserved. And maybe, just maybe, there is some sort of justice after all.
Jack D. Deal is the owner of Deal Business Consulting. Related articlesmay be found at http://www.jddeal.com and http://www.freeandinquiringmind.typepad.com
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