Who Put The Super In Supermarket?
28293
Recreation & Sports > Humor
Jun 19, 2007
kphirst
Who Put The Super In Supermarket?
Someone super sized my supermarket. Because we moved, we changed supermarkets. Although it's less than four miles away, it's worlds apart. In addition to the usual items, it has a Starbucks and a bank. You need a bank if you're a regular Starbuck's customer. It also has a pharmacy and a florist. Now you can buy your own get well flowers. The explanation for the large cosmetics section must be that customers want to look super too; but I don't know the explanation for the car wax, firewood, patio furniture and sets of tableware. Soon supermarkets won't be considered super unless they have everything you need. How about dry cleaning? What isn't super is having the market's layout changed. I understand the psychology. It's the same psychology that's responsible for the meat, fish and poultry being located in the back of the store. The more items you pass, the more likely you'll buy something you didn't know you wanted. I, however, feel like a rat going through a maze. If I'm lucky, I come out by the cheese section. The cheese section is located by the deli section, which is located by the fruit section. It's a picnic waiting to happen. Oh, and the bakery section's nearby. That takes the cake. Whether it's cake, sugary cereals or vitamins shaped like cartoon characters, children always want what they've seen advertised on TV. That's why the manufacturers of these products pay to have them displayed at eye level. Children sitting in carts are at adult eye level. And have you noticed the carts have gotten bigger? Now the amount you're buying looks smaller. Small displays of foods to taste are around every corner. Along with the taste comes a coupon for the product, which can be even tastier. And then there's the music played to sooth the savage shopper. For Saturday morning shoppers like me they play golden oldies. Because the supermarket is open twenty-four hours, I'm guessing they play "Good Night Ladies" at three in the morning. I've never had the impulse to shop at three in the morning or to buy impulse items like gum, candy and paperback books in the check-out lane. I'm too busy pretending not to read the tabloid magazines nearby. If supermarkets were this super when I was a child, I'm sure all the little piggies on my feet would have wanted to go to market.
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
send email to kphirst
Write a Review
Add to My Favorite
Refer it to Friend
Report Article
Other links owned by this user
Mother Earth is taken for granted. I've never sent her a card on Mother's Day. Have you?
Category:
The U.S. Postal Service leaves a lot to be desired. If the government had been required to notify us by mail about the increased cost of mailing a letter, we'd still be paying thirty-nine cents.
Category:
Benjamin Franklin said there were only two certainties in life - death and taxes. Obviously Benjamin Franklin never did housework. Dust is a certainty.
Category:
Walk-in closets, walk-on roles in television shows, walk off a sports injury - you can hide; but you can't get away from walking.
Category:
What does a mother say when her young son wants to do his science project on cholesterol. She says,rats!
Category:
America means different things to different people. From offering religious freedom to being the home of Disneyland - America has as many meanings as it has Americans.
Category:
If talking about improving our health were exercise, we'd all be healthier.
Category:
Ice cream is America's favorite treat. If you know someone who doesn't like ice cream, ask to see their belly button. It's said that aliens don't have belly buttons.
Category:
If a fair weather friend is someone who feels friendlier when it's sunny and eighty degrees outside, that's me.
Category:
Although I think I know what good husband material is, I'm not an expert on the subject. After all, I've had only one husband.
Category:
From childhood to adulthood, from marriage to career to family - my lifestyle keeps changing styles.
Category:
If lots of face-lifts are free, looking up at the night sky to watch a falling star must qualify as a free face-lift.
Category:
Crystal balls appeal to our curiosity about what's going to happen next. We all have crystal balls, but they're called experience, intuition and knowledge.
Category:
Traveling by train was a pleasant surprise. It had been so long since I traveled this way I had thought I might need a personal trainor.
Category:
Because we live in the computer age, we've become numbers. I hope when I get to the Pearly Gates, there's not a sign that says take a number.
Category:
Most people probably don't realize they have slot machines where they live - usually downtown.
Category:
If you like to look at flashy cars come to LA, but drive carefully. One of the explanations for the amount of car accidents in LA is that people are looking at all the flashy cars instead of looking where they're driving.
Category:
Relationships make the world go around. The difference between a good relationship and a bad one is night and day.
Category:
It doesn't surprise me it only takes Santa one year to make presents for all the children in the world. It doesn't surprise me he can deliver all the presents in one night. What surprises me is he asks children what they want. Santa never had any children
Category:
My grandmother might have described something as the cat's meow. My mother might have said the same thing was cool. I'd probably say neat and my sons would say rad, but we're all speaking the same language.
Category:
Other links at Recreation & Sports > Humor
Some of us are doers. Others say they'll do whatever it is later, tomorrow, on the weekend, as soon as they get a chance. These are procratinators.
Category:
New beauty products are being tested every day, but how? I've never seen a guinea pig or a rat with wrinkles.
Category:
Instead of watching that funny movie, why not just look at real life? Often fact is funnier than fiction.
Category:
Some people are photogenic. I'm not one of them. When it comes to cameras, I want to be out of the picture.
Category:
When California runs out of water, we can make it into one heck of a national park. Don't forget to bring your water bottles...
Category:
Site Sponsor
Directory Statistics
Articles: 68309
Categories: 501
Yahoo Entertainment
