Am I The Only One?
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Recreation & Sports > Humor
Nov 30, 1999
Am I The Only One?
Maybe it's because I'm a blond, but why would drivers go to a gas station that charges four cents more for a gallon of gasoline instead of going to the station across the street? Four cents times twenty gallons times fifty-two weeks is forty-one dollars and sixty cents. That's like being paid for doing nothing. It's like being on the City Council. I wonder if City Hall has a thirteenth floor. In buildings that don't have an unlucky thirteenth floor, why don't the people on the fourteenth floor think they're unlucky? I was unlucky when I bought a polish to clean stainless steel - which shouldn't have to be cleaned in the first place. I worked. It didn't. When I returned the polish, I read the labels on the other products that claimed to clean stainless steel. They were all made by the same company. There must be people blonder than I am who'd buy another product made by the company that made the product that didn't work. Being a woman, I know women want to be thin. I know that's why clothing manufacturers made clothing sizes larger. Size ten is the new size eight and size eight is the new size six. Good psychology, but now size two is size zero. How can women fit into clothing that has no size? Maybe it's just me, but why do people go to psychics for help. If people need help, shouldn't psychics know that and go to them? Girl Scouts are definitely psychics - at least during their annual cookie sale. Why do pharmaceutical ads convince healthy people that the only reason they think they're healthy is because they haven't been fully examined? Doesn't anyone else wonder why banks fine you for having insufficient funds in your account when they know you have insufficient funds to pay the fine? If bankers and everyone else evolved from apes, why are there still apes? For that matter, why didn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does "out to lunch" mean you're a little north of the North Pole and "out to dinner" means you're not stuck in the kitchen? Am I the only one who wonders why there aren't father-in-law jokes and how bugs get into light bulbs? I may be blond; but when I see a wet paint sign, I don't touch the paint. However,I am still trying to figure out why a run in my stocking doesn't count as exercise.
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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