The Truth About Emotional Intelligence
1603
Self Improvement > Grief
Mar 1, 2007
Lee Down
The Truth About Emotional Intelligence
There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep their jobs, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle through the rough spots in their lives.
Recently, I had a friend over who has suffered enormous job stress during a time when his wife's father was dying of cancer. Of course, quitting his job didn't seem like an option during this difficult period, particularly since his wife returned to her parental home for many months to say good-bye to her dying father. That left him at home to take care of their children, pay the bills, and so on. Who can forge positively into a new job-search with all that going on?
After his father-in-law passed away his wife returned home and he lost his job - as did many of his colleagues - and his wife decided she no longer wanted to remain married. What else could go wrong? OH! Of course! His father could be diagnosed with cancer: He was.
Now he is living a complete hell, with all of this turmoil, and two sweet children looking to him for stability. Is it any wonder that people are cracking under the strain?
He is all alone and he tries to be "emotionally together" but that only causes more harm than good. We (society), in our need for order and stability, don't want people with all these problems in our lives. We don't want them working in our office. They're broken!
Well, the truth is, our (society) expectations around emotional intelligence, and together, full-functioning adults, is what is breaking them.
I spent three hours with him the other night, acknowledging his horrific circumstances, his emotional turmoil, and gave him permission to embrace it all. He's not broken, he's experiencing emotional pain and it needs to be expressed, embraced, and worked through (processed.) It's not enough that he embrace it either. Community is required to surround, love, heal, and regenerate.
So, when we see hurting people, don't look at them as broken people who haven't got their act together. Look at them as someone who needs a bit of kindness, generosity, and loving support. Watch the power those simple things can have in their life.
Caveat: This does not condone people remaining disempowered victims for the rest of their lives. Our role is to embrace and still to empower, leaving the "wounded one" to take responsibility for their recovery. Embrace, love, and challenge. Lee Down is a Professional Coach, Trainer/Facilitator, Speaker, & Writer of One Man Can Human Capital Development that focuses on relationships, the key foundation to success in business and life. With more than 15 years professional experience and a thirst for truth and understanding, he focuses on the human spirit and human capacity. Working with clients, he facilitates the breaking down of beliefs, barriers or obstacles that bring clients forward on their journey of discovery with spirit, energy, abundance, passion and purpose, integrating the mind and body experience. Working with business, he brings visionary leadership and relationship skills to the forefront that witnesses an empowered culture evolve and develop directly impacting the improvement to the bottom-line.
Recently, I had a friend over who has suffered enormous job stress during a time when his wife's father was dying of cancer. Of course, quitting his job didn't seem like an option during this difficult period, particularly since his wife returned to her parental home for many months to say good-bye to her dying father. That left him at home to take care of their children, pay the bills, and so on. Who can forge positively into a new job-search with all that going on?
After his father-in-law passed away his wife returned home and he lost his job - as did many of his colleagues - and his wife decided she no longer wanted to remain married. What else could go wrong? OH! Of course! His father could be diagnosed with cancer: He was.
Now he is living a complete hell, with all of this turmoil, and two sweet children looking to him for stability. Is it any wonder that people are cracking under the strain?
He is all alone and he tries to be "emotionally together" but that only causes more harm than good. We (society), in our need for order and stability, don't want people with all these problems in our lives. We don't want them working in our office. They're broken!
Well, the truth is, our (society) expectations around emotional intelligence, and together, full-functioning adults, is what is breaking them.
I spent three hours with him the other night, acknowledging his horrific circumstances, his emotional turmoil, and gave him permission to embrace it all. He's not broken, he's experiencing emotional pain and it needs to be expressed, embraced, and worked through (processed.) It's not enough that he embrace it either. Community is required to surround, love, heal, and regenerate.
So, when we see hurting people, don't look at them as broken people who haven't got their act together. Look at them as someone who needs a bit of kindness, generosity, and loving support. Watch the power those simple things can have in their life.
Caveat: This does not condone people remaining disempowered victims for the rest of their lives. Our role is to embrace and still to empower, leaving the "wounded one" to take responsibility for their recovery. Embrace, love, and challenge. Lee Down is a Professional Coach, Trainer/Facilitator, Speaker, & Writer of One Man Can Human Capital Development that focuses on relationships, the key foundation to success in business and life. With more than 15 years professional experience and a thirst for truth and understanding, he focuses on the human spirit and human capacity. Working with clients, he facilitates the breaking down of beliefs, barriers or obstacles that bring clients forward on their journey of discovery with spirit, energy, abundance, passion and purpose, integrating the mind and body experience. Working with business, he brings visionary leadership and relationship skills to the forefront that witnesses an empowered culture evolve and develop directly impacting the improvement to the bottom-line.
Write a Review
Add to My Favorite
Refer it to Friend
Report Article
Other links owned by this user
There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence ese days at it appears at people are suppressing eir emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep eir jobs, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle rough e rough spots in
Category:
Other links at Self Improvement > Grief
Following are some beliefs or thought-forms, which can be very supportive in our effort to cope with the departure of a loved one. If you find any of these helpful, write them down with large letters and place them where you can see them often. Feel
Category:
Often times when a relationship ends there are things left unsaid and questions left unanswered. Through the use of this technique you can resolve these issues and allow yourself to move on and let go of the past. This technique can also be used with
Category:
What if I were a bird? I would need no tickets to fly. Just fly whenever I want. I would save a lot on air tickets! Jokes apart, what does a bird see from the sky? What does it feel? What opinions does it form and how does it look at human beings?
Category:
Do you ever ponder the meaning of life? Why are we here? Perhaps these questions surface when we receive news we'd rather not receive, the passing of an uncle, a beloved aunt, a friend's spouse who died for the wrong reason. I'm not sure I believe
Category:
Everyone gets to experience a moment of grief, loss and sadness at some point in their lifetime. Grief is something that follows a loss. Grief can take many forms: it can initially settle in as numbness and later evolve to become a mixture of sadness,
Category:
Site Sponsor
Directory Statistics
Articles: 68228
Categories: 501
Yahoo Entertainment
