Will Your Marriage Shelter You From The Storm?
12751
Home & Family
Apr 18, 2007
Will Your Marriage Shelter You From The Storm?
Living near Galveston, we are very much aware that another hurricane season has begun. Our family spent the last few months consuming the unused food and water in our 72-hour preparedness kit from last years hurricane season. We have begun organizing our new supply and making a few adjustments to our preparedness plan using the lessons we learned when we evacuated for hurricane Rita. There are 3 major things we do to shelter and be prepared for the storm. First, we have a plan on preparing the house for the storm. Second, we have a 72-hour kit that we can use if we shelter in place or evacuate. Third, we have an evacuation plan that goes into affect if it's a category 3 or greater hurricane. As I was going through the process, for yet another year, of making sure our home and family will be safe in a major storm, it caused me to consider something else. What are we doing to take shelter from the storms of the world that are boiling around our marriage and family? It's important to have a plan to protect us or shelter us from these storms that may not be so obvious. I see that there are 3 types of storms that we need to prepare for as well. The Storm Of Infidelity The average person thinks of an extramarital affair when they hear of infidelity. An affair may be categorized as having an intimate, sexual relationship with someone other than your spouse. However, have you ever considered that infidelity occurs whether a sexual "event" occurs or not? How so you may ask. Well, if you share intimate feelings, thoughts and gestures with another, aren't you walking down the road to a sexual event as well? It's not the sexual event that is the infidelity; it's the process of being intimate with someone other than your spouse. With that definition, how many of us walk a dangerous line with our friends and associates as we fail to reserve those intimate moments for only our beloved spouse? Some not so obvious steps, yet steps none the less, would be developing a pattern of going out to lunch with a work associate of the opposite sex. So would you be wise in preparing for this storm, by not even going to that lunch unless others are present? How about regular emails with a member of the opposite sex? Can you see how this could lead down a path that you may have never intended to go? I have a dear friend from high school that I went to the prom with. However, our emails are exchanged via our home emails rather than our work emails, then both of our spouses can follow our discussion at anytime. Sound kind of silly? Well, I don't want to leave a door open for any problem with my husband and I when it comes to trust. One final area of grave concern in the storm of infidelity is the internet. I'm very grateful for the many wonderful things we have now that we're "connected" to all kinds of amazing things online. Let me tell you, homework at our house has now meant less trips to the library and more "googling" online. However, with the internet also has come chat rooms of questionable character, a hail storm of spam offering all kinds of illicit things, plus easy access to pornography. Can you see how involvement in these things really is leading you down a path of infidelity? With all this said, please realize that a plan that is well thought out, and implemented will save so much heartache in the end and keep you out of the storm of infidelity. The Storm Of Selfishness Another storm that has become as powerful as a hurricane is the storm of selfishness. We are in a time that instant gratification is the rule rather than the exception. A time where many people look at their own needs before those of another. In our homes and families do we consider the needs of those we love before we focus on our needs? Do we realize in a disagreement that being right may not be consistent with doing what's right? Are we willing to compromise; honestly listen to the view point of another and go out of our way for the comfort of our spouse or children? If the answer to any of these is no, then it is time to create a plan to help shelter from the storm of selfishness. As I nurture my garden with water, miracle grow and weed removal I receive baskets full of rewards or fruit for my labors. The same is true with our spouse and family. As we nurture kindness, consideration, sacrifice and pluck out the weeds of selfishness, our relationship baskets will be overflowing with the sweet fruit of strengthened relationships. The Storm of Misunderstanding Do we take the time to truly listen and try to understand what those we love are trying to tell us? Do we try and see things from their view point, or are we stubborn and convinced that we are right and don't even listen? The storm of misunderstanding is such a simple storm to avoid, but it takes time and effort to truly listen and understand another. I recall reading a story about a village where not one member was lost to the tsunami that hit back in December 2004 in the Indian Ocean. The people of the village were saved because the elders of the village had passed down to each generation an understanding of the things to be aware of in their changing sea. On the day of the tsunami, one elder noticed the water receded much further than was normal for low tide. To him this was a warning of a dangerous wave to come. However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't convince anyone of the younger generation that there was an impending danger. Thankfully, he never gave up, and was finally able to convince members of his village to move to higher ground...eventually everyone in village moved to higher ground. When the tsunami came, their entire village was destroyed, yet not one life was lost. Just as the younger generation finally had to trust that the elder may have an insight they are lacking, we too need to trust that others may have an insight that may be better than the direction we were heading. Remember, even if their idea wasn't better, or they weren't right, the fact that you listened and understood is what will protect you from the storm of misunderstanding. "They That Are With Us" There is no doubt about it that many storms rage in the world that can destroy or devastate our families and marriages. Many days it may seem hopeless or impossible to overcome or shelter from these many storms. Yet don't loose hope, for you may not realize the forces for good that are working to counter those storms I am reminded of the words of an ancient Old Testament prophet, Elisha, who, as he look out at the approaching Syrian army, and what appeared to be certain destruction, advised his nervous companion, "they that be with us are more than they that be with them". (2 Kings 6:16) Elisha didn't see 2 men against an entire army, he saw the angels of God surrounding them, and they were indeed protected. So what army surrounds us as we face the storms of life? These armies or forces include caring family members, friends, religious leaders, community leaders, and public education. If we allow their influence in our life and family, we too will discover the insight of Elisha, "They that be with us are more than they that be with them." So keep planning, preparing and applying your storm plans and you will be sheltered from the storms of the world.
Beth Young is An Senior Editor With SendOutCards and Is One Of SendOutCards Top Distributors.
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